The hibiscus flower represents being worthy and beauty to all you share it with.
This was my dad's tree which now symbolizes the strength of my boutique.
We open our store today my nerves are a little crazy but excited to start a new chapter in my life. I wanted everything to be perfect but that’s just one of my self-limiting beliefs. Nothing will ever be perfect. Perfection is merely a made-up illusion to hold us back from our dreams or jumping forward into something uncomfortable. Out of our comfort zones.
What I learned on a healing journey opening my heart that had been shut down, actually most of my life from trauma as a child and adolescent, the past five years brought tragedy with my daughter which made me feel powerless, losing my dad too quickly and finding out my brother had the same terminal cancer 2 weeks before losing our dad 4 years ago. He is still fighting, some days are tough because my heart aches knowing what he has to endure to stay alive, but I am pulling on the strength he taught me as an older brother to get back up and keep going.
This grief forced me to start healing and being still with my thoughts looking for answers why I never stopped going and going a sense of autopilot through life for everyone else but not my own which was killing me inside. I was losing the battle to stay strong down that dysfunctional journey.
Yes, I'm hugging the tree because I didn't want to leave the beautiful beach. This was the beginning stages of healing.
Two years ago, I had a medical emergency a strangulated hernia that I kept ignoring because I ignored all the signs. It turned into an emergency waking up to a doctor saying, “you about died last night. You had gangrene, not sure why it hadn’t gone septic with the amount of internal tissue death after so many hours. Why did you wait so long?” These words will forever haunt me. Why did I not care about getting help?
The doctor’s face was serious enough that it woke me up even more than just the grief. Because septic is what took my dad from complications with chemo and pneumonia. That day forever changed my life. I do not take a single day for granted anymore. I see it now in gratitude, but I didn’t at the time because 4 painful surgeries from complications came afterwards. Left me weak and knocked down. But I needed that to rise above the pain I was experiencing. Also, needing to change my career working in physical therapy, I could no longer continue repetitive heavy lifting. I needed to reinvent a new life and a new career.
I began going back to my artist roots painting again and making jewelry as a form of art therapy. I loved doing these things since I was a kid. Doing anything creative lights my world up. Always had a love for fashion, beauty, health & wellness and home décor. These were the things that made me smile. Not to mention traveling to exotic places where a turquoise ocean may be.
I had dreamed of owning a boutique since I first walked into one many moons ago in our hippie college town where KU resides. I loved how everything was uniquely different but had a home like feeling to them. Boutiques always carried a special vibe with different things you could not find in department stores. I had not really put much thought into owning a boutique one because I did not think it was in the cards for me to be a entrepreneur and two because I was happy working in physical therapy, it was a rewarding experience and taught me many lessons on empathy in humanity.
The art therapy and regular therapy is what I needed to heal my broken heart to start loving myself working on forgiving people that hurt me but mostly forgive myself for hurting me the most. That’s when I knew what an open heart meant and began getting courage to take action on a dream forgotten so long ago.
I want to create a business that shares a positive message to other’s every day. While feeling good on the inside and looking pretty stylish on the outside.
This is my story and meaning behind Open Your Heart. I hope that everyone feels inspired to take action on doing what matters most but learn how to love yourself enough. Because you truly can’t be there for other’s until you take care of you first.
Now I have a fire that burns inside living each day setting my soul on fire doing what I love. Sharing my message may help someone going through a rough time to live with passion, wakefulness and believing in your dreams.
You are enough! Believe it!
When the stars come out at the end of the day just know you did the best you can, making tomorrow even better. Live through an open heart and it will raise you to a new level of passion and purpose. It’s time to come home to where you were always meant to be.
May you walk unafraid. Be fearless leading you to the dream carrying the torch of passion crushing the charades holding you back.